You may not like this one, but there is no secret sauce when it comes to solo travel. Every single person is just as scared, and just as nervous to solo travel for the first time. And the second time. and the third etc. Building confidence it’s not always easy but it is doable for every single person, especially you. Even the most experienced of travellers sometimes get nervous before a trip, completely normal. There are things you can do to help build your confidence before going on your first solo adventure.
I’m going to talk you through the things I’ve done myself that changed my entire life. I hope they help to change yours too, for the better.
Creating habits
Building confidence can sometimes mean changing one small thing in your day. Perhaps today you will smile and say hello to one stranger on the street. Then perhaps tomorrow you smile and say hello to 2 strangers on the street. Do you do that now? If your answer is no, then make that your first step to building confidence to solo travel. It may seem minor, but smiling and saying hello, is pretty much how most of my friendships were formed whilst travelling. Once you are in the habit of smiling and saying hello to strangers, you won’t even realise you’re doing it when you’re traveling. And don’t just stop at one or two days, this is about building habits that will change your life. Keep going until you are doing these things without thinking.
Building confidence is very personal, because what may seem like no big deal to one person, could be extremely uncomfortable for another. So, take a minute and write down three things you are not confident doing, but you want to improve on. Maybe you want to try something new. Maybe you want to start going to the gym. Maybe you want to eat at a restaurant on your own. Maybe you like someone and want to ask them out for a drink. Whatever it is, please remember you are unique, you are on your own journey, and you are exactly where you need to be.
Now that you have three things written down you’re going to focus on one at a time. Imagine yourself doing the thing with complete confidence. How do you feel? Empowered? Happy? Powerful? Confident? Now it’s time to do the thing. And yes, you will probably be nervous. Yes you’re going to feel sick. But you know what? That feeling will probably last a good 10 minutes, if that. And then it disappears, and you realise… I’m still alive. And that’s pretty much how building confidence goes. You just reach a new level every single time. And that goes for us all! We’re all the same, just on different journeys.
OK now we’ve covered the emotions related to solo travel, it’s time for actionable steps! One of the main fears of every solo traveler, is that they will be alone, have no friends, and therefore be unsafe. A great way to make certain of immediate friendships is to book a group tour. And no, it’s not cheating! You are completely solo traveling, and you are guaranteed immediate friendships with the other people on tour.
If a group trip seems like too much of a stretch for you right now, perhaps try a local meet up in your town? Maybe a book club?
For those that follow me on social media you will know i wanted to ACTIVELY help with this. And that i’ve teamed up with Weroad Travel where i’ll be hosting my own group trips! The first one is in Thailand from 5th april – 16th April 2023, where you can travel with me and start solo travelling! I’ve been working on this for a while and i’m beyond excited to start meeting everyone and get travelling together.
I’ve also wanted to make this as affordable as possible for everyone that has supported me, and have agreed a discount of £200 for each person that travels with me. Just use the code ‘PAIGETHAILAND200’ for £200 off the Thailand trip.
If you decide that you would prefer a different trip, or you want to book multiple, use the code ‘PAIGE200’ for £200 off any other trip with Weroad Travel!
Another excellent way to build confidence to travel solo is to book a short trip before. For me personally, I was planning on backpacking South east Asia for one year. I was going to quit my job and sell my car and fly one way. So I booked four days in Spain and booked my very first hostel. My thinking was to ‘trial’ it’s out and test the waters. I only told a couple of people I was going. I did not tell my work what I was up to, as I hadn’t told many people I was planning on going backpacking. To be honest I was just still too nervous to fully commit and book the one-way flight to the Philippines.
This four day trip was the make or break decision for me. I vividly remember my dad driving me to Bournemouth airport, and having to roll the window down because I thought I was going to be sick. I remember sitting in the airport and seeing this bright orange book in WH Smith with the title ‘the subtle art of not giving a f***’, and I have never bought a book so fast in my life.
Which brings me on to my next tip, sometimes you have to just not give a f***. And I don’t mean not caring about your safety or well-being, I’m talking about letting go of fear. That four day trip to Spain was the biggest step in changing my life. The very next day after i flew home from Spain, was the day I booked my one-way flight to the Philippines.
You don’t need to go to another country to build your confidence to travel solo. You could take a day trip to another town or or another city and have the same affect. Perhaps you could take yourself to a museum on your own. Go to the cinema on your own. Go to a restaurant or café on your own. Have your head up, smile at people, engage in basic conversation.
All of these tiny details add up together. And when your mind tells you maybe you shouldn’t do that, that is the key moment that you have to do it anyway. And realise it’s just our ego talking to us. Our ego isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s built within us to help keep us safe.
But it doesn’t mean it’s always right. Usually we have a fear of judgment, of what others might think of us sitting in the cinema by ourselves. Or eating alone at a restaurant. Or posting a picture online. If i listened to fear, you wouldn’t be reading this. Because i would have been too scared to launch my own website.
Go for it…worst case scenario you just fly home.
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